Making Time Count
1. Put
specific times on your calendar each week when you
will spend time with your children. During that time,
focus your love and attention on your child.
2. Use
car time to talk with your children. There's no phone
or TV to interfere. No one can get up and leave.And
kids know they really have your ear.
3. Plan
to eat at least one meal together as a family each
day.
4. Look
for things to do together as a family. Get everyone
involved in choosing how to spend your time together.
5. Try
giving children TV tickets. Each week, each child
gets 20 TV tickets. Each ticket can be used for 30 minutes
of TV time. Any tickets remaining at the end of the
week can be cashed in for 25 cents each. Parents can
still veto a certain program, of course.
Reading
to Your Child
6. Try
relaxing your family's bedtime rules once a week on
the weekend. Let your child know that he can stay
up as late as he wants-as long as he's reading in
bed.
7. Help
your child start their own library- paperback books
are fine. Encourage child to swap books with friends.
Check used book stores. Give books a gifts.
8. Want
your children to be good readers? Let them see you
read. In 1988, more students than ever reported that
their homes contained few or no reading materials.
9. Try
holding D-E-A-R times at your house. "DEAR"
stands for "Drop Everything And Read." During
DEAR time, everyone in the family sits down
for some uninterrupted reading time.
10. With
young children, try reading to them during bath time.
11. Use
the "Rule of Thumb" to see if a book is
on your child's reading level: Have your child read
a page of the book aloud, holding up one finger for
each word she does not know. If she holds up four
fingers and a thumb before the end of the page, the
book is probably too hard for her to read alone. But
it might be a great book to read aloud.
Building
Self-Esteem
12. Have
child make a "book" about themselves, with
their own illustrations and wording. "A Book
About Me" is agreat way to help your child see
herself as "somebody."
13. Help
your child discover their roots by talking with family
members.
14. Constantly
look for ways to tell your children what you like
about them, that you love them. There is no age limit
on this. "When I do something well, no one ever
remembers. When I do something wrong, no one
ever forgets." Those words were written by a
high school dropout.
.
15. Let
kids overhear you praising them to others.
16. Try
"King/Queen for a Day" for good report cards.
17. Help
kids learn from problems, not be devastated by them.
Many parents don't ever use the word "failure."
They may talk about a "glitch," a "problem,"
or a "snag." But even when something
doesn't work out as they'd planned, successful
people try to learn something from the experience.
Discipline
18. In good weather, put two
angry kids on opposite sides of a strong window or
glass door. Provide each with a spray bottle
of window cleaner and a rag. Then let them "attack."
Their angry words will turn to laughter
. . . and your window will be clean!
19. Try
role playing to eliminate constant fighting. For five
minutes, have the fighters switch roles. Each has to
present the other person's point of view as clearly
and fairly as possible. Odds are, they'll start laughing
and make up. Better yet, they may come up with a compromise
solution both parties like.
20. For
better discipline, speak quietly. If you speak in
a normal tone of voice, even when you're angry, you'll
help your child see how to handle anger appropriately.
And if you don't scream at your kids, they're
less likely to scream at each other . . . or at you.
21. Here's
a way to stop "me first" fights about who
sits in the front seat: Give each child a day when
the front seat is theirs. "Ryan has
Tuesday and Saturday. Kyle has Monday and Thursday.
Britini has Wednesday and Friday."
Sunday is a day off when nobody sits in front. Stick
to the days and eliminate the fights.Works for
other recurring fights.
Solving
School Problems
22. Try
looking over children's study materials and making
up a sample quiz as they study for upcoming tests.
23. Talk
with school "In time of peace" before major
problems develop.
24. How
to make report cards a positive experience: Preparation.
Ask, "What do you think your report card will
tell us?" Getting ready is helpful. Perspective.
Understand that a report card is just one small measure
of your child. A child with poor grades still has
plenty of strengths. Positive action. Find something
to praise. Focus on how to improve.
25. Be
aware that your attitudes about school affect your
child. If you hated math, be careful not to prejudice
your child.
Motivating
Children
26. Children
need the 4 "A"s too: Attention, Appreciation,
Affection, and Acceptance.
27. Some
researchers believe every child is gifted-if we will
just look for the ways. Helping a child see his giftedness
is very motivating.
28. Encourage
children to read biographies about successful people.
As children learn about the traits that made others
successful, they are often motivated to adopt those same
success patterns in their own lives.
29. Motivate
your children in math by challenging them to figure
out how much change you should get back from
a purchase. If they guess the amount, they keep the
change.
30. Praise
children constantly.
Building
Responsibility
31. Try
a cardboard box to help make your child responsible
for school things. Have your child choose a
place for the box-near the door or in his room. Every
afternoon, his first task should be to place all belongings
in the box. When homework is finished, it goe in
the box, too. In the morning, the box is the last
stop before heading out the door.
32. Help
children understand, and take responsibility for,
the consequences of their choices. "I chose
to do my homework. The result was that I got an 'A'
on my math test." "I chose to get
up 15 minutes late. The result was that I missed breakfast
. . . and nearly missed the bus."
33. Try
giving your child the responsibility of growing a
small garden-even in a flower pot. The positive and negative
results of carrying out your responsibilities are
very clear.
34. One
reader found a way to keep children moving in the
morning: After her daughter wakes up, Mom begins
to play her favorite record album. Her daughter has
until the side plays through to get herself dressed
for school.
Reinforcing
Learning
35. Encourage
kids to collect things. Whether they collect rocks,
shells,or bugs isn't important. They are learning
new ways to make sense out of their world.
36. Estimating
is an important math skill. We estimate how much our
groceries will cost. We estimate how much
time we'll need to complete a project at work. You
can help your child learn to estimate at home.Here's
one idea: As you're driving, estimate the distance
to your destination. Then estimate how much time it
will take to get there. Use the odometer
or a map to check your work.
37. Talk
about geography in terms children can understand:
Go through your house and talk about where things
came from. A calculator may have come from Taiwan.
A box of cereal may have a Battle Creek, Michigan
address, or White Plains, New York. Talk about where
the wheat for your bread came from. Where was the
cotton for your blue jeans grown? Tell them where
your ancestors came from. Find the places on
a map.
38. Show
your child that writing is useful. Have them help
you write a letter ordering something, asking a question,
etc. Then show them the results of your letter.
Homework
39. Try
playing "Beat the Clock" with your child
during homework time. Look over the assignment and figure
out about how long it should take to complete it.
Allow a little extra time and set a timer for
that many minutes. No prizes are needed. There
is great satisfaction in getting the work done
on time.
40. Teach
your child to use the formula "SQ3R" when
doing any homework assignment. The letters stand for
a proven five-step process that makes study time more
efficient and effective: Survey, Question, Read,
Restate, Review.
41. Here
are five tips to make homework time easier-for you
and your child: 1. Have a regular place for your
child to do homework. Use a desk or table in a quiet
room. Be sure there's plenty of light. 2. Find a
regular time for homework. You may want to make a
rule, "No television until homework is finished."
3. During
homework time,turn off the TV and radio. 4. Help your
child plan how she'll use her time. 5. Set
a good example. While your child is doing homework,
spend some time reading or working yourself. When
homework is done, you can both talk about how much
you've accomplished.
42. Nitty
gritty homework tips: Do the most difficult homework
first. Save "easy" subjects for when
you're tired. Do the most important assignments
first. If time runs short, the priorities will be
finished. Do what's required first. Finish the
optional assignments later-even if they're more fun.
43. Look
over your child's homework everyday. Start at an early
age and keep it up as long as you can. Praise
good work.Your interest will encourage good work.
44. Try
having your child teach you the homework. Teachers
always learn more than students.
(Handout
from a presentation by The Parent Institute, P.O.
Box 7474, Fairfax Station, VA 22039-7474, 1-800-756-5525)
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