1. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

2. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

3. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

4. MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb
out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade,
but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus.
MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

5. Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.

6. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

7. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........
After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

8. Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger,
a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.

9. Lord Voldemo rt refers to Chuck Norris as "He who must not be named".

10. Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.